say anything

I got an email from Chase today! Except...it just told me he was going to write me a letter, because the time ran out and the email got erased so he just wrote a short one after that...but I was glad to hear from him! I can't wait til he comes back and I don't have to wait for mondays to hear from him, and we can have actual conversations. He said I could confess my love to him if I wanted to, but he couldn't tell me what to say or what not to say. So I'm debating what to say..or what not to say..

I'm supposed to skype with Aaron, ha of course right? Because he has a date with his boyfriend at midnight. Scandalous...;) So we were going to chat early. But then he was doing some stuff with his fam bam..and now I'm not really sure what is going on. So maybe not tonight!

So today......was just chaotic. I'm not even going to talk about it. But tomorrow hopefully will be better and I can go get some stuff done. And GYM GO! I super need to. It makes me happier, because I can't tan..so I gym go. But...I need to braid my hair, cause I just got out of the shower a bit ago. And I keep brushing my hair..I guess I'm dreadin the dreads...
Maybe I'll try it out another time.

So here's a poem:

Roses are red
Violets are blue
I'm becoming convinced
I live in a zoo

True story.....THE END.

lactose..intolerant

It super sucks to be lactose intolerant..I feel like my body is dying. We had super yummy homemade macaroni and cheese tonight:) but..it was made with milk in it..so I'm sorta dying. A lot of milk stuff makes me sick, but straight milk being in anything honestly makes me feel disgusting.
I've decided that I need to experiment..like possibly by taking milk...and drinking it. But I'm not sure how well that would go over...I could see myself throwing up. But I also decided that could be a solution..for if I ever needed to throw up baha, I could just drink milk..but I'd need to test it first to make sure that's the right option. Hmm, I super don't like milk anymore. Which is fine for me..but geez..so difficult. What to do what to do...ya know? Well...I've got some stuff I gotta get done tomorrow.. So I'm gunna get some shut eye early this time..and get up at a decent hour, and do something with my life. So that's all for now.

just the two of us

La la la la la la la. So again, I'm skyping with Aaron, but he went out to talk to his dad and so I'm just doin my own thing. Meanwhile, Anker and Max are ont he couch watching a movie, and one the guys said something and this is the song that got stuck in my head.. So now I'm just typing away, and I bet they can hear it from the computer...haha so it's probably pretty funny, or freakin weird. Who knows.. lol.

So today, I got up and watched inception lol. After being attacked by the missionaries with a dart gun...I was super tired and still in bed. It was only like 11...so not THAT bad. I was up until 4...so I had reason to be tired. And I kept getting woke up anyway, so I didn't think it was that much of a problem haha. So after I ate and watched the movie I went to the gym. And that's basically the majority of my day. Keturah and I drove around for days and then went to the gym. Had a lovely...experience, baha..then went to another gym after our psycho workout. Then saunaed it up..and headed home. She's actually out doing something...I'm just sitting around again..of course. Ha but I showered, and ate dinner...and...had a super hilarious tickle fight with the kids. I liked it. Oh and I also started putting my clothes away. Except I ran out of places to put things. Until my mom gave me one of her plastic drawer things. So now I can work on that tomorrow or something. My stuff is definitely organized different than the usual....but I guess I'm learning to work with what I got. I can make it good I believe.

So..I'm nervous about this conversation Aaron's having with his dad, lol. He's thinking about coming down here tomorrow...which would be sweeeet. But it's super far. So he's trying to figure it out. I'm not sure if his dad is feelin it or not. But I guess I'll see when he gets back...lol. Surprisingly I've been able to write all of this with him still gone. And manage to sit around a bit before as well. And leave the room and ask a question haha.

So my water bottle keeps randomly talking..and it's freaking me out. Also..I can't remember if I took my medicine today...because I don't remember when I drank water..baha. Sucks...except I shouldn't take it twice in one day..but then again, if I missed it..that sucks too! So what to do what to do ya know... I'm not gunna do it..but schucks. I should call in a new prescription anyhow. I might need to get one from idaho...oh brother lol. But..I'm just rambling now. So I'm off. Donezo for nonezo.

:D I'm generally happy for now. Nothin too bad.

produce!

So we went grocery shopping today...but the produce wasn't too great. So we decided we needed to get it from costco later. So...we don't have any fwuit of vegetables yet :(
But that's cool I suppose. We got some good stuff. SOOO much food lol. I really want my triscuits lol. But I already brushed my teeth.
OH MY GOSH I KEEP SNEEZING :/

So I'm waiting for nothing...because I saddly am not doing anything right now. Ha..it's friday night but it all feels the same to me..So I'm sitting here with no purpose, and Aaron's watching inception with his fam! So...I'm technically waiting to skype with him I believe. Even though I really honestly do not know what I am doing. I could sleep...but no, I just sit here baha, I really need to go to the gym....I applied to some places online today. ...it was the most boring experience of my life. And I broke all of my nails like a little girl today, baha.

After I got out of the shower I honestly sat there and considered myself with dreads. I really thought about it. Especially because I didn't grab my brush yet..So I could've just started the journey then...but I had nothing else to do, so I brushed it..so I could braid it. And I ended up braiding my hair into 3 really nasty braids. Just for fun. HA, yep.

And this is what I do...in my spare time. On FRIDAY NIGHTS. When I'm alone.....bahahahahahaha

I'm going to get a new hobby REAL quick. I'm gunna pick up the guitar now..I've decided it's time. So my wet hair is making me really cold..and I just can't get over how ridiculous I look. So maybe I' don't have anything else to blog about...except for....today at the store I saw the biggest apple of my life. Snow white would've ate it.

I'm gunna go read now. Donezo.


‎"Is it reckless? Maybe. But what do dreams know of boundaries?"

limelight

So..so far I've got a few..
I'm still trying to ponder.
And now Aaron's singing over skype..and we're having a strange conversation. So I can't really focus on my focuses. Even though he's partially included in them, so I'm not actually distracted. I should be doing something more productive. But there's nothing else I'd really like to do....except sleep. Or read, then sleep. I'm not sure really ha. It's late...

My limelight consists of seven things for now...
scwiptures, momma, aawon, gym, nutrition, working, and an occasional friend see.

That's all.

scavenger...to a new beginning......again

So I need to start looking for a job...better than I am. Cause I haven't done a whole lot. It's slightly still difficult...I should do it tomorrow...But who knows what I'll really do. I also want to go to the gym...So I'm just going to probably end up waiting til monday...sucks. I need to get all my crap organized this weekend anyway. That could be a good thing to do..it could make things less chaotic. Also...my water bottle keeps talking, and I want to kill it.

So how do buses work? Because I apparently might be taking them a lot from now on...super sketch. But I suppose I can just be safe about it. I'm really not sure. Or I need to figure things out with the car so I can start driving. Mahhh...

Where do I even apply for work? Everywhere...but I'm not sure where to go yet without a car. Hmmm... Possibly I'll just drive the car..that I'm not supposed to drive..who knows.

The sun henna on my arm is about off. You can see part of a ray...that's all. I want more. I won't get any though :(

So I need to have more patience...or more ability to be nice, and not freak out, or get annoyed. I'm not exactly sure how to do that. Ha..but I should really try.

I've decided that I'm going to look at life as an experiment..and document everything and take it into a study, so I can just observe it and not get angry, because it will just be different reactions...to different trials. So later I cant just laugh instead.

Hopefully it'll help. It's worth a shot. Even though I haven't done much different.
Maybe this weekend will be when I start changing things. I need to start being how I was again, alone. Ha, not in such a depressing way...But I need to have certain focuses. And stick to those, and only those. Not letting any distractions get to me. I'm going to have a list. Only allowing myself to do things on that list. It will be very restricting. I'll make a menu too. Only can eat certain things. It should be good for me. Huh. Life is going to get good again. Starting now.

Earlier I decided I didn't want people to know that I was home anymore. Wanting them to think that I went back to school in the winter like most folk..So I'm going to try and lay low. I hope that will help too. So I super hope I'm able to get a job on post...that's a way better chance of a different life, and not being around the people that I don't need to be around. I'm almost begging for a new life. In the same place I've always been..what can I say..I ask for too much. Maybe if I help out at it, I can get it..to a point. I really think it'll be better this way. So... those lists will come later.
I must ponder....

That's all for now.

amp...

So I had a pretty crazy ish, not so much day. Things get difficult with my mom sometimes...But I think it's getting better. Or the idea is. Or I am..Or we're just working on it at least. So I feel better I guess. I've decided I like Aawon today. haha, and what I mean by that, only a certain few would understand. Hopefully he gets it too.
I've also realized that I don't really have any hobbies. I need to look into life. Maybe pickup something else. Like soccer...cause apparently Latini's like soccer. Or...idk, Aaron concluded that I like the gym. Which is true. And I suppose that could be a hobby? Going to the gym. Huh. Well...I guess I'll see.
I like how I blog, for myself. Cause no one knows I blog anymore. I feel like I'm talking to myself, and getting I'm getting an answer. But I'm really not. It's just where I let all my words go, and then I don't have to think about them as much. Crazily.
So I'm skyping with Aaron right now. And he's asking me funny questions. He's a pretty sweet dude......MAN. He was making fun of one of my songs that I was listening to. What a rudey....
Well, I'm off to chat and have scripture study, then get some shut eye!

"The whole wide world is mine." -AVA