i must continue

Why did I ever stop blogging?

So I'm home for Christmas break, and for winter semester. It's gunna be a long one... Oh the joys of BYU Idaho's planning...I'm staying with Jimmy this week and it's been pretty fun so far. Wuv her :) I'm going to go stay with my momma soon. I gotta find a job. I'm not even sure what I'm doing. It's time to sleep, so I can get a life tomorrow. Goodnight day...

fed up

That's all I have to say.

NIKE

My new nike water bottle is the only thing keeping me alive right now. I hate being sick... I didn't go to class..And now I'm trying to do some crazy homework and I have no idea why, it's some project that's supposed to be personal..Um I don't like personal, so this is gay. So I've been basically flushing my system with water water water water water water water. I'm still not feeling better though...Just peeing every 10 minutes basically. ...I don't even blog anymore, :( I need a new hobby......I'm sitting at my brothers trying to do homework until I have to go pick him up from work. I had an interview today. I hope it was good. We'll see. Then...that will change my whole winter plans. That job is my winter determinant. We'll see..I miss some folks.
Well, good day.

BOBBIE

Bobbie is my roommate. She has a cool water bottle. We really want to do something today. But it's 4... And what are you supposed to do at four? NOTHING. So we just cleaned the kitchen.. half. and vacuumed. So maybe we'll go get a water bottle, or... swing at the park. Hmmm...
wuv wuv wuv ;)

And that's a day in the life of Natalya, I'm done saying that.
Aha, a day in the life of Bobbie Reed.. :)

RIDICULOUS

I COULD NOT SIGN IN TO MY BLOG FOR THEE LONGEST TIME.
Not much has gone on, that I haven't already wrote in a letter, so I feel like it's pointless for me to say over. But right now, midterms are over basically, and I'm dead tired. And I saw my grades and they're pretty okay for me not ever really doing anything. So I'm going to work harder perhaps, or just sleep more. Who knows.. I get to go home for thanksgiving :) Which makes me suuuuper happy. I didn't want to tell anyone so it would be a surprise, but I had to so I had plans. But I'm trying to surprise my mom so that should be good I hope, and my friend Keturah doesn't know and I don't think she gets on here so that should hopefully be a surprise. No one knows the day I will be there though so it'll be half a surprise either way. And Jessica is hopefully going to drive me to Yakima to see my momma, so hopefully all of that will work out. We'll see for that too I guess. I'm just going to continue listening to music and not sleeping. Then I might eventually sleep and wake up super early for class and have a great day of classes... Then take a nap:)

We'll see where it all takes us.

And that's a day in the life of Natalya.

Headphones

Headphones. Are great. Until they break. Now I can't shut things out when I want to sleep. 

I'm going to bed early, if it works. I'm tired. And I plan on reading tomorrow, I hope. Maybe the library will do me well this week. 

Well that's all for now. Things change.

And that's a day in the life of Natalya. 

Homework For Days.....

I never even have a lot to do, until the day before. Then like eight tons of things come up that weren't there before.
Plus, this weekend was half good. Half, insane/awkward/attackful/ridiculous. FANTASTIC.

More homework....

And that's a day in the life of Natalya.

August Rush

 So I'm next door watching august rush. And today we went shopping, myself, kj, britt, melissa, emily, lewis, and tyrus. It was fun I guess. Lewis got some new clothes! Which was the point, and then we all went to red robin. Kj and I ate clucks and fries, and I had some freckled lemonade :) though it's sure not the same without my best friend Jessica...
Tomorrow I'm supposed to get up and go watch conference on campus with my friend Luke, which should be good. So hopefully I wake up on time... I think I'm going to go home now and take a shower and get some shut eye. I don't have as much to say anymore. Still a lot on my mind. But nothing that I actually wanna say I'm guessing.. Huh. Well we'll see where tomorrow takes us. Hopefully a wonderful day.

And that's a day in the life of Natalya.

That Party Last Night Was Awfully Crazy

Bahaha, no party.
But, I'm starting to do more of my homework. Yet the internet barely works most of the time when I try to submit assignments. So I'm strugglin slightly. But right now I'm dying with the fact that I have to do a disability for communications. So I'm being mute. It's definitely the funniest thing, but it really sucks cause I'm actually doing it and not talking. I don't know how to sign and I don't know how to get people's attention. Plus no one else can sign.. So I just write things down. Ha it's super gay. The time is almost up though, then I can go back to normal..... for the most part.
And apparently Jeff makes Anna like a giddy school girl :) ahahaha, and Melly likes carrots, like bunny wabbits!!!
Oh, and tonight I'm making bow tie noods with fredooooooo.

And that's a day in the life of Natalya.

Long Day

So I haven't been on here in a while. School is ridiculous. Nothing is even hard. It's just crazy. But it's whatever I suppose lol. I'm pretty tired and I'm getting up for yellowstone in the morning.. So I shouldn't write much. But there's new things in life I have to tell. I will eventually. I have to mail a letter. But it's the weekend. Poooooop.
Well, tomorrow is yellowstone. And today was a dance. It was funny. It was weird. Then it was pretty cool. Then ehh, then cool. I overall had a lot of fun actually. Because Britt and Em and I made it fun. So it was pretty grand. Then it started to die down a bit, and it was suuuuper hot, so we decided to leave.
Though a good night it was. Anywhoo, we'll see where tomorrow takes us! I wish everybody was chill. Some are so ridiculous.

And that's a day in the life of Natalya.

P.S. Big News

I got my letter from Chase. My lovely roommate Bobbie Reed checked and it was there. As I'm gone of course..... Just thought that was GREAT...............

And that's a day in the life of Natalya. Once again..

Jus Convention

So the Jus Convention was way good. If anyone wants to know anything about it just ask me and I'd be happy to talk about it.
We went to a lot of places to eat, and they were all pretty good. I don't have much to say about this weekend besides we learned a lot of sciency stuff, and nutrition stuff and I really liked it.
My brother is going to see some friends. So I'm staying in the hotel by myself tonight. ..I didn't want to, but whatever, I'll get over it.. So I'm just here now, and really tired. I think I'm going to try to get some studying in before I go to sleep. I don't know if I want to go down to the sauna or not. I mean I do.. But I think I'd rather not wander around alone.. So I might just stay up here and study then get some shut eye. Something about today got me in a bad mood, so I'm just not feeling too great. But hey, it's okay.
We'll certainly see where tomorrow takes us....

And that's a day in the life of Natalya

Hilton

So school isn't even that hard, yet at least. But it's been so difficult to get stupid internet stuff to work. So it's been frustrating. And I'm SO tired. But I cannot sleep until late. Or in the middle of the day, which is when I have school... So when I got home, I paid for rent.. Then got all my stuff together, and left for Utah... I don't really like Utah, the state itself, but it has some cool places. And it's also where the Jus convention is. Which should be really great. So I slept a little in the car, but then we had some crazy kids driving around us and it was just, funny. Chris's friend Liz is coming down here to stay and hangout and come to convention with us. So that should be pretty cool. I don't know if we're going to go swimming just yet, but for some reason I wanted to, which is weird because I don't like swimming. Maybe I'm becoming different...
Anywhoo, my dearest BEST FRIEND Jessica Miller sent me a package and I got it today. I was soo soo happy. It had some mail and a letter and two bags of mine that I left at home, and a ton ton ton of food. Snack ish food. But I love it. I left it at home for the weekend though, so I don't eat all the time, but now I'm kinda wanting it, since I'm at a hotel where breakfast is like fifteen bucks.. And so I'm not really feelin the eatin thing this weekend. I'm at the Hilton by the way. I don't think I've ever stayed here. It's way nice. Except we're on the sixth floor.. And my dad is on the eleventh.. Whats up with that? And theres NO microwave or fridges.. But theres super nice beds and tvs hahaha. I also don't know if I've ever stayed at a hotel for more than three days. I don't even know if I did when we went to Yakima for state boys basketball. Hmmm, I just don't know.
Well, I'm thinking about taking a nap. Or maybe just going to sleep.
We'll see where this weekend takes us.

And that's a day in the life of Natalya.

Jus Website. Check it out!

Postal Service

THE POSTAL SERVICE FROM BRAZIL TO IDAHO HONESTLY DRIVES ME CRAZY.
I just really want my letter.. Then, if I ever get it, I'm just going to want my other one.. So I'm just hoping Chase will send lots of letters and then I will start getting them at one point and it'll be a continuous thing. Haha, HOPING.
But anywhoo..
Today was.. blah. Devotional was good, except for me falling asleep ish twice. Honestly I'm just thinking a lot and don't actually have much to say.. Things are so interesting now. I really miss Jess, and those few people from back home. So many things, and so not enough words created. I have to make sure I read for my culinary class tomorrow, so I guess that's what I'm off to do right now.. Let's hope tomorrow is a calm day. Soo much to think about.
Well we'll see where it all takes us.

And that's a day in the life of Natalya.

Oh J. Mill... we go way back.

Peanut Butter M&Ms

So I was so tired this morning. I had my culinary class, and it wasn't terrible. We just talked and stuff, and wednesday I get to meet the other teacher. Then I went home early cause she let us out 45 minutes early, which was really great. Then I went over to my brothers to study, since I still had NO MAIL... :( I really hate the mail here. It honestly makes me crazy. Then no one was really home except for like David at one point. And he fell asleep of course.. So then I was like what the heck, I'm tired too. Haha, so I fell asleep. He said he woke up and saw that I was like passed out, so he knew it was official nap time. Ahaha, oh man.. So that was that. And I think I'm getting sick.. It's probably cause my allergies are real bad here and I'm like allergic to thee air, and it's different than what I was recently used to, so I've still been drinking like ten tons of orange juice. Yet, I got sick?! Okay cool... I even went and got more orange juice to keep at my brothers. It's for him too, but I drank the rest of the one Kaylen left here. Soooo I got more haha. Then when we were at the store, I saw peanut butter M&Ms and I REALLY wanted them.. I should've go them but I saw them after.. So I asked Meg to send me some. It's one of those cravings that won't go away until I get some. But.. I have to go home soon because my brother has a ward thing. So I'm going to go home and try to study. Hopefully I will do good, and finish everything..correctly.
Okay so I'm off to my almost humble abode... Since I'm not wanted at my brothers!
FHE is tonight anyway. I wonder what we're doing..?? Hopefully I get enough studying done first.
We'll see where the rest of the night takes us. And tomorrow as well.

And that's a day in the life of Natalya.

Good Day Gone Wrong?

So today started off good. Church. That's a great way to start. Then some stuff happened and I wasn't too happy. So that was when the mood kill happened and my day went up and down from there.. 

I had some lunch then went to my brothers to study and was greeted by everyone sleeping. And once I got my computer out and I was sitting in the chair, I fell asleep myself... So then I woke up and we ate dinner. Then we watched a fireside on tv. Then I went over to Vanessa's for  a little it and tried her taco soup! Haha, then I went back to my brothers and we were watching clover field and jumper. I tried to read my culinary book. It was interesting, but it was just so HUGE.. and heavy, and I was tired. So after a while I went home. I went to take my shower, then everyone was basically in bed. My room roomie was about to go to bed. Then I was doing my math. Then she went to bed for a bit. And I had my light over my bed on cause I was doing my math, but she wanted me to turn it off.... So I wrote down a couple things then turned it off. I mean, if I was trying to sleep I wouldn't want my roommate doing that, so I get it. It just sucks. So I read the rest of my culinary chapter with the light from my phone, because it's difficult to use it from lappy. Well, I'm hoping to check the mail tomorrow and have a letter. I'm also hoping to do good if I have a quiz in my culinary class. And I'm also also hoping that my teacher will understand that my math thing isn't up yet and I won't get in trouble.. Because I don't even know if I did it right.. Which makes me nervous. Plus part of it was a little weird since I haven't done math in a while, so I just sorta left it for now.. I don't know why I make dumb decisions sometimes. But, I guess I learn from them. 

Some other strange things went on today.. I'm not sure I can read people anymore. I guess we'll find out. But I'm getting so confused. School is already making me crazy because no matter where you go, there's always crazy people and drama, and problems, and ugh it's just not something I'm too fond of. It's also something I guess I've got to get over. (My day doesn't actually seem that bad. It just sucks, some other things, and some build ups..)

Well.... We'll see where tomorrow takes us. Hope it's good. 

And that's a day in the life of Natalya. 

ICE CAVES!!!

So today I TRIED to do some homework.. It was decent, but not too successful. Then I went and got a new book for class. Then, I went to my brothers and he decided we were going to the ice caves. They seemed cool, though I'd never been.
They were soo amazing! A little scary, and a super bumpy ride. But it was soo much fun. I kept falling everywhere though. But it was so beautiful. And the stars were incredible. It was a great adventure. I'd never seen so many stars in my life. It was just incredible.
I'm not really sure about the pictures but I think Jacob has a few. We shall see. It was such a funny drive in Joel's truck. Kj, Britt, and Mel came with us. And Joel had his old roommate Matt. Super funny trying to fit us all in his truck...
Well, church isn't too early tomorrow. And then I still have to read some stuff for class.. Then dinner at my brothers! fajitas! Mmmm, I can't wait.
Well we'll see where tomorrow takes us.

And that's a day in the life of Natalya.

Day Two, Down

So I also got through today. I went to my math class and I think I'm going to like it. And I didn't go to accounting, haha, then I added my math class and dropped accounting!
I got to sleep in today, and I have class with my brother, it was pretty funny.
Tonight, I was going to hang with the roommates, but I was also going to be with my brother, so I think the roomies went down to the sand dunes and I'm trying to hit up a party with my brother hopefully. He says he wants to have a bonfire, again, ha. Maybe a lot of people will come. Then tomorrow, it'll be fun, and I might study.
Right now, I'm hanging out at my brothers, watching Kim and David be dumb ahahaha they're funny dudes.
Well we'll see where the night takes us, it should be good.

And that's a day in the life of Natalya.

One Step Closer

So I made it through my first day of college. It's just weird to think about. Some things make it seem so much more scary than it is. I mean I've done it before, though it was slightly different, the overall concept is the same. I understand how college works, and it just sucks cause it was soo rainy today and there's just so many people. Plus the construction on campus definitely does not help when I'm trying to avoid the rain... But I had a communications class this morning, it was good for being the first day. I think I'm really going to like the teacher, and the class. Then I had my art/propaganda class, and I was so tired it didn't seem too too interesting, but I think it'll be okay.. Then I napped slightly at my brothers, and I went to world religions. That class should be really good, I hope it's not difficult with the mormon thing. It's really hard sometimes to understand things. But the teacher to that class is really great! So I'm excited for that. I really need to get online to my american foundations class and make sure I stay caught up and that it will work out.
Tomorrow I'm going to sit in on a college algebra class, and try to add it. Then I might have a scopin date with Vanessa! Then.. I have accounting.. Then I might end up hangin with Vanessa then instead, but I suppose we shall see. Then we might play something tomorrow. It will depend I guess. And I really hope the weather will be good.
So tomorrow I'm also going to turn in our damage report thing that we have, so I can get our mail key. And HOPEFULLY my letter from Chase will be here!
Well, we'll see how tomorrow plays out. It's now time for bed. I'm a sleepy girl.

And that's a day in the life of Natalya.

Tomorrow, More Things Change

So I got through today. It honestly wasn't too great. Though I tried to make things better toward the end. I walked around campus a bit and figured some things out. Then I went and priced most of my books. So later on I went to this rental place and rented five books for four classes, and I went to mail my latest novel to Chase.
Tomorrow I have communications at 8am. It's supposed to be a really cool class and I think it will be. I just hope I'm not too tired. Then I'm going to try and sit in on a foundations class so I don't have to take it online. Then I'll have to drop my art propaganda class. It seems cool, but it's totally unnecessary.
So I also went to dairy queen today with my roommates Lizzie, Bobbie, and Allie, ad Lizzie's two friends. It was pretty fun. Then when we got back I headed over to kj's because I told her early that I would come over.
Well, hopefully tonight will end well and tomorrow will be better. I've decided I'm going completely crazy and losing my mind. But I guess, there's not much I can do. So we'll see where tomorrow takes us. I'm going to make some toast now since kj has a toaster, and I have homemade jam, and some yummy bread.
So tomorrow should be interesting.

And that's a day in the life of Natalya.

Another New Beginning

So the past week I've been in Rexburg. I've been hanging out with my brother all day, which is great because I never really grew up with him. The nights I spent at Kaylens. Which were pretty nice too, cause she's a super sweet girl, and her younger brother Chase and I were really good friends. He's now on his mission is Brazil. It's insanely far and I miss him like crazy, but he's generally happy and he's doing great things so I'm happy for him. We write each other letters, and I've recently been writing him novels because apparently I have a lot to say. 


I never used to be much of a talker, and I've learned that I am generally shy when it comes to meeting new people, or just being around people I don't know. Though I am now at a place where I have to learn to socialize right away and not let things bother me. I know it's not that much to handle, and I should be able to handle it, but things get difficult sometimes. I mean, I graduated high school early, and that took a lot. And I'm really happy to be in college, and I miss my few good friends back home, but being the person that I need to be, I'm glad I'm here.
I just got into my apartment yesterday and I had to put away all of my stuff.. Which I also learned that I have too much of. I really need to put a lot of it in storage.. My roommates are really nice girls. Though earlier today I thought they hated me. I have been away from friends I know for a little over a month now, and my neighbors are three girls I went to high school with, and it just feels really good to see them and get back in touch. But I'm pretty sure my roommates think I don't want to interact with them. I feel really bad.. But I'm trying to be nice and happy about it all and talk to them. I like them all a lot, it's just hard for me because I'm not used to them. I never really grew up around people being so happy all the time and just all around good people. I know it sounds terrible. But it's just the truth. I think I'm doing good so far, it's a step up. But I can always do better. Which reminds me of a song by the band Say Anything. So I can always do better, and I have to keep trying to do better. So I will.
I asked my brothers friend Joel about married people, because they get their own apartments, and that means theres only two people! That would be SO great to me haha, just because I grew up with just my momma and I. But I don't want to get married, so I'm not sure how that plan would work out... But it was a thought. I want to just be able to go to Kj and Britt (neighbors, and high school friends) and hangout at their apartment and go to my brothers, just because it's a feeling of comfort. But I don't want to be the 'outcast' so to say, or just one that stays away or isn't social with my roommates.

I honestly have no emotion about the moving situation, which I think might be bad. Though I have emotion about some things, a lot of things. I try to hide my feelings about mostly everything. It makes it easier to bear if something doesn't turn out how I wished it would. I say I don't have feelings because eventually I just become numb, and some things I learn to just not care about. And I don't try to be a not caring person I just try to protect myself from getting hurt. I know it's terrible logic, but I'm on my own and I don't have anyone to tell me what to look out for. Even if I have people I could look up to for some things. Everyone has their flaws, and so do I.. I just want to try and avoid them making things more difficult than they need to be.
Complaining is something I've become good at. That's a terrible thing. Though I could always find things to complain about. I just have a lot of feelings inside now, and I suppose talking about them could help to figure out what I need to do, and just what is going on, but I don't want to make people involved in my life. It's really really hard for me to trust people, and so I don't want to bother them with my life. Then it will become something to me as well, and feelings will build up. Which is what I like to avoid.

I'm only seventeen, but out of those seventeen years, I lived with my brother maybe five, and I was too young to remember. So this is a wonderful opportunity for me to get to know him more and become close to him. He's a really great guy. He likes to argue with me, which is random because I don't like to fight with people really. It's just not who I am these days.

So this is another new beginning in my life. I get to be in another new place, be with my brother, be with old friends, and make new ones. Plus I get to get a good education and maybe learn new things, of course in school, but maybe I will do new things as well. I'm trying to pick up soccer. I'm hoping things will continue to turn around, for the better. I'm still young, but I think I've got a lot of potential, or else I guess I wouldn't be here.
Tomorrow is a new day, and I'm honestly going to try and make the best of it. I'm hoping that when school starts on thursday it will be super great and not terribly hard, and I will feel some sort of relief. Staying busy will also be a good thing to keep away my feelings and thinking.. When I think, anything could happen.. I also need to bond more with my roommates. They are the ones I will see the most. And I'd like to be close to them. So for now, all can be well. We'll see where it goes from here. All I want, is to be happy.

And that's a day in the life of Natalya.